I'm a terrible housekeeper, if the truth will be told.
I can't keep a lid on the mess.
As I hate to be dirty and grimy and grubby,
Filthiness causes me stress.

But I'm awful at mopping and sweeping
I'm hopeless at washing the sheets
I'm crap with the duster, and polish, and wax
I can't keep a single thing neat!

I save up the dishes for day after day
And wash them all up in one sitting,
But sometimes that before guests do appear,
As long as it's clean, they're unwitting!

I'm so bad at housework, the flat is a tip,
I'm up to my eyes in my crap.
I know it needs doing, and I'm starting right now...
But first, I will take a quick nap.

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