Oh my god, I think Boris Johnson just grounded the country.

Well, here we are, people. At 8.30pm this evening, our dear PM grounded us all for the next three weeks.

I mean, I’m not saying we didn’t deserve it. We’ve been gadding about like it’s early spring and there’s no global pandemic for days now.

Or so I’ve heard: I’ve been inside my living room since Monday 16th March when the management team at work decided to instigate a Work-From-Home-Please policy and I merrily packed up my computer, monitor and ergonomic keyboard, trotted home with my plants, shut the front door, put on my pyjamas and built my work desk into my sofa-nest. Or should that be that I turned my sofa-nest into my work desk? Either way, the laptop met my lap whilst my arse met the sofa.

I have showered since then, I promise. And moved. And eaten some green vegetables. It’s just. Well. Fleecy blanket, sofa.

And of course, I’m in a seriously privileged position. 1. I’ve got a job that I can do from home. 2. I’ve got a boss (and a company) that lets me work from home. 3. I’ve got a home I can work from. Not everyone is so lucky.

Anyway, long story short, because of my unstable immune system and fragile lungs that threaten to collapse occasionally, I’m social-distancing and so far my quarantine routine includes a daily Buzzfeed quiz, scrolling through the RSPCA adoption pages looking for a small animal I could smuggle into my house without my housemates noticing, just the seven cups of tea and bothering my colleagues over Microsoft Teams with gifs and the emoji of a dancing turkey (the greatest emoji in a work platform ever created).

I miss the fuck out of my family, who I haven’t seen since my birthday at the beginning of March, and my best friends, who I haven’t seen since shortly afterwards. But I’m keeping them safe by socially isolating. I’m bound to go outside and pick up the single coronavirus bouncing around my neighbourhood looking for a friendly host. I’m just opportunistically obliging like that. So inside I stay.

Which is why Boris Johnson grounding me feels so rude. What a dick.

#staythefuckinside #covid19

Today’s recommendations:

1. innocent smoothies are posting some excellent daily updates on Facebook. A fun fact, a fun challenge and a pet picture.
2. The London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine published a short course about COVID19 on FutureLearn today (it’s freeeeee). I’m a bit too anxious at the moment, but it’s on my list for three months’ time.
3. Twinings make a teabag called “Strong English Breakfast”. 10/10 would recommend. It put hairs on my chest this morning, which really livened up a Monday.