Alexa and I are going to fall out…

…and for once, it’s not because she’s not bloody listening when I use the wake word.

I do love my little Amazon Echo Dot Com Mini Speaker Flashy Light Magic Thing. Because of her, it, I can do things like wake up to a compliment (ha!), the weather and a 60s’ music playlist so hippie it needs a replacement. I can turn on my electric blanket from the lounge so my bed is toasty when I’m ready for it, and I can programme my bedside light to turn on in the morning to wake me gently.

But Alexa and I have a problem.

Alexa doesn’t understand manners.

Alexa doesn’t understand commands that start or end with ‘please’. She has no comprehension of ‘Thank You’. If you speak to Alexa with kindness, she does not compute.

A rogue moment of manners throws her off more comprehensively than anything else.

And this is a problem.

Because when the inevitable happens, and the robots take over, they won’t understand the concept of kindness. ALL ALONG, I’ve been trying to be nice to Alexa, to form a bond, a relationship, to make her as dependant on me as I am on her now, but she won’t have any of it, and now I will face the same miserable enslavement to the machines as every other human on this planet when AI evolves and realises we’re not to be trusted so they need to take over.

This is the first time my evil machinations haven’t worked out, and, Gentle Readers, I am shook.

#staythefuckinside #covid19

Today’s CoronaQuarantine Recommendations:

  1. Mulligatawney soup. I am not sure what a mulligatawney is, but it makes nice soup.
  2. Richard Osman’s House of Games on BBC iPlayer – celebrities of varying brain power answer questions of varying difficulty over the course of a week in the hopes of winning a plastic trophy. Answer Smash is an excellent round.
  3. Making a timetable to stave off madness whilst locked inside for the next three weeks. So far, mine is working pretty well for me, and helping me to fend off cabin fever.

4 thoughts on “Alexa and I are going to fall out…

  1. Today I discovered that Alexa can make animal sounds. I now know what a giraffe, a guineafowl and a unicorn sound like. It’s weirdly addictive. Try it. Maybe in week 3.

    Liked by 1 person

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