I think it's fair to say that 2016 has been...challenging. Wading through the filth of this year has left me feeling grubby, and more than a little depressed. So this week I set myself a challenge: find things that make me cheerful. Things that made me smile, or laugh, or generally made the day a … Continue reading Things that have cheered me this week
Category: Curmudgeonly Old Bitch
Getting Older
Do you have any idea what I've just been doing? I have been wielding a pair of tweezers, trying to pluck out all the wiry black hairs that have suddenly decided to sprout from my face. I swear this is some epic bullshit, right here. At no point, in my life, has anyone mentioned that … Continue reading Getting Older
Calling An Automated Phone Computer Thingy
When I went off to Australia last year, I tried to buy one of those add-on packages for my mobile phone, that allows you to make calls, send text and use the internet in foreign countries. I logged into my online account, and tried to buy the package. Although the buggers took my money, they … Continue reading Calling An Automated Phone Computer Thingy
Reason Number Three
To anyone who knows me in real life, it won't come as a terrible shock to discover that, three years ago, I was diagnosed with depression. And actually, if you've ever met another human being, there's a 50% chance you've met someone who has depression. If you've met lots of human beings, then you have … Continue reading Reason Number Three
Happy Valentine’s Day
Gentle Readers, this weekend is the most bullshit holiday in the history of ridiculous commercialised holidays. Valentine's Day. A day so associated now with overblown gestures, scarlet hearts and overstuffed teddy bears, that the purpose of Valentine's Day has been lost. Oh, wait, no, sorry, I just received a message from the producer...Valentine's Day's only … Continue reading Happy Valentine’s Day
In Which I Issue A Plea To All Customer Satisfaction Surveys
Hello. You must be the customer satisfaction survey. I mean, one of them. There are many of you. Kind of like bacteria. You're all called the same thing, but in just twenty minutes, you can double in number. I understand perfectly why you exist. There are, in business, things like profits and targets and sales and … Continue reading In Which I Issue A Plea To All Customer Satisfaction Surveys
Two Cents Tuesday: Children On The Bus
I want to start by saying: parenting is hard. Parenting is the goddamn hardest thing any human ever undertakes and I MEAN that. Parenting is not for the faint-hearted, and anyone who chooses to undertake it has my heartfelt admiration and respect. And I mean that too. But ce soir, I got on the bus and nearly … Continue reading Two Cents Tuesday: Children On The Bus
The Corridor Gremlin
Recently, I have been plagued by corridor gremlins. Oh, come on, of course you know what a corridor gremlin is. You just might never have called it that before. Picture your most annoying colleague. Most annoying. And probably, one of the things you find most annoying is the way they hover (aaaand if you didn't before, … Continue reading The Corridor Gremlin
Baby Names Game: Episode Two
What with the birth/naming of Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana this weekend, it seemed appropriate to start the new week with another installment of the baby names game. Especially as, after the last post I did, yet more lunatics, I mean, readers, submitted their families for assassination. I will start by saying that Charlotte Elizabeth Diana isn't … Continue reading Baby Names Game: Episode Two
Young Couples in Love
Dear Teenage Couple on the Bus, Congratulations. Congratulations on being in love. It's a heady state. I remember it well. Sadly. Congratulations on your ability, too, to make an entire bus full of people be a little bit sick in their mouths with the noises of your kissing. It's a masterful achievement. I mean, for me, … Continue reading Young Couples in Love
Loops & Flicks 